move over

there's a new sherif in town. If by sherif I mean annoying co-worker. There's a new IT woman who has taken the reign as most annoying person in my general office area.
She doesn't have an inside voice. She talks so loudly that it gives me a headache. She calls her kids at least once an hour. I'm guessing her kids are older too, because one of them is in university.
When she's not talking loudly on the phone, she's having really annoying conversations with other people where all she talks about is how great her family is.
You can't understand how loud she actually talks. Think about being in a loud club or bar and how loudly you need to speak to talk to the person beside you. Now use that voice in a quiet office setting. I swear to god half the damn office can hear her conversations.

What makes it worse is that she sits right behind me.

I'd gladly take conversations about someone fucking a cartoon character or baking cakes over having to listen to someone loudly go on about how amazing her family is.

Case in point. This morning there was a 20 minute conversation on how her son won 6 awards from school. And how he "cleaned up". Which is okay. Be proud of your son. But after she mentioned that she went on to knock other people in his program who I'm sure she's never even met. She continued on about how they don't have the same work ethic and how they're lazy and this and that. And how they really are at a disadvantage because her son is so great. All the while I'm thinking to myself. That's fine and dandy, your son might be really smart and good at school, but I'll also bet dollars for donuts that he is a virgin and no one likes him. If he's even half as full of himself as you are then bam! he's getting beat up for his lunch money and resulting in having to pay for sex.

I know that's a very immature way of me looking at it, because after all there is more to life than getting laid and retaining your lunch money, but seriously. Just shut up. I don't care how great your kid is. And neither does half the office.