the stank

honestly bitch.

Have you never worked in an office before? There are things you don't do in offices. One of those things is have constant personal phone conversations at your desk. This is okay if you have an office and you can close the door, but if you're sitting at a desk in a cubicle you go somewhere where people aren't going to hear you on the phone. Although at this point if she actually did that then she'd spend half her day away from her desk.
The second is make microwave popcorn. To anyone who has ever worked in an office or is familiar with Douglas Coupland you might know this as "the stank".
You do not cook (I don't really think it's cooking ... but let's roll with it) microwave popcorn in an office. If you want popcorn you make it like the night before and put it in a ziplock bag so the smell does not drift across the office and make everyone hungry as balls.

I think with this move you have officially become office enemy #1.

I've already planned my revenege. The one stank worse than microwave popcorn is McDonalds. I'm going to sit hear and wait for her to say she's hungry one day. Then I will promptly get up and go and get some McDonalds and just let it sit on my desk.

Seriously. No one wants to hear about your kids and no one wants to smell your popcorn.

How dare you defile my general area with the stench of your popcorn.

If I could fill a bag of popcorn with my farts then repackage it and leave it on your desk I would.
I imagine a warm bag of farts would not make for a delicious afternoon snack.